Muse Massager Review: The Cute One, and What Replaced It
✨ The Muse Massager ✨
A tiny bunny that sold on being adorable, and was right to.
Palm-sized · Flexible ears · Silicone and ABS · Rechargeable · Discontinued
Read this first. We no longer carry the Muse Massager. It was a lovely little thing and it did its job, but it came out in 2017 and the small clitoral vibrator has come a very long way since. What I would buy now is at the bottom.
This post originally ran in 2017 as part of a partnership with Slutty Girl Problems.
What it was
A clitoral vibrator shaped like a bunny, small enough to close your hand around, with two flexible silicone ears that held the motors. You could press both ears together for one concentrated point of contact or spread them to cover more ground, which is a genuinely clever bit of design for something that cost so little. Silicone over ABS plastic, rechargeable, three speeds and seven patterns.
It was also, and this was the actual selling point, extremely cute. It had a face. Its eyes lit up. Nobody bought this thing because of the motor specifications.
Why cute mattered
I have said this elsewhere and I will keep saying it: cute is a real reason to buy a sex toy, not a decoration on top of a real reason. A toy shaped like a rabbit is a toy somebody will pick up and turn over in their hands. A toy that looks like medical equipment is one they will scroll straight past even if it is objectively better.
That mattered most for people buying their first vibrator. The Muse was small, soft, friendly-looking and cheap enough to be a low-stakes decision, and for a lot of customers that combination was the difference between buying something and buying nothing. It also worked outside the obvious use, since the ears were flexible enough to be used on nipples or with a partner, so it was a first toy that did not immediately feel like a solo-only purchase.
Why it is old tech now
Two things date it. The first is that it was water resistant rather than waterproof, which in 2017 was an acceptable compromise and now simply is not. Fully waterproof is the baseline at this price, and it should be, because a toy you cannot rinse properly under a tap is a toy that is harder to keep clean than it needs to be.
The second is power delivery. Small toys used to mean weak toys, and the trade you made for something pocket-sized was a motor that buzzed rather than rumbled. That trade has largely gone. The current generation of small clitoral vibes are quieter, deeper and considerably stronger than the Muse was, and several of them are also better looking.
If you loved it for the cute
These are the two I would hand somebody who bought the Muse because it was charming. Both are properly waterproof, both are a genuine upgrade on the motor, and neither has stopped being a lovely object.
Shop all clitoral vibrators ->
If you want the sensation upgrade
And these are for anyone who liked the Muse but always wished it did more. Both are a real step up in what you actually feel rather than just a prettier version of the same thing.
Buying your first one and not sure where to land? The best beginner vibrators is the more thorough answer.
Originally published May 10, 2017. Rewritten August 8, 2026.
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About Zoey
Everything in this shop is here because I chose it. I opened The White Unicorn in 2016, I still do all the buying myself, and I have tested most of what I sell. Ten years of answering the same questions is how I learned what people actually need, and it is why I will happily tell you when something is not worth your money.