7 Ways to Up Your Blow Job Game
By Emilia · 6 min read
Let us be real for a second, babe: a great blow job is far less about some secret technique and far more about presence, confidence, and actually wanting to be there. The good news is that every one of those is learnable. Throughout this guide I am also sharing advice from sexuality educator Niki Davis, quoted word for word, so you are getting real expertise alongside the fun. Here are seven ways to level up.
1. Make sure you are actually in the mood
This is the one everyone skips, and it changes everything. A blow job you give out of obligation reads as exactly that, and your partner can feel the difference. So do not answer the call when you are not feeling it. As Niki puts it, you want to “wait until you are truly feeling the call of the cock, so that every blow job is memorable and enjoyable for all involved.” Desire is the technique. When you actually want to be down there, everything else gets easier.
2. Start the seduction way before the bedroom
The tease does not have to wait until you are in the same room. Anticipation is its own kind of foreplay, so let it build all day. Text him that you cannot stop thinking about him. Tell him exactly what you are planning to do and how good you are going to make him feel. If you trust him and you are comfortable, a teasing photo never hurt. By the time you are actually together, he is already halfway there and so are you.
Set the scene: a few extras that make going down more fun.
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3. Take it slow and build it up
The average guy finishes in about four minutes, but a slower, drawn-out build almost always leads to a more intense finish, so resist the urge to go straight for the main event. Once he is undressed, tease. Kiss and lick your way down, get close, then back off. Take more of him a little at a time instead of all at once. And do not underestimate what your eyes are doing while you do it.
4. Bring real enthusiasm
If you are enjoying it, show it. There is a world of difference between someone going through the motions and someone who is clearly into it, and your partner can tell instantly. Moan when it feels good. Tell him how much you are loving it. Keep the eye contact going. Enthusiasm is honestly the most attractive thing you can bring to the table, and it is completely free.
5. Communicate (out loud, not just with vibes)
A lot gets said without words, but words are still the clearest way to learn what he loves. If it seems like something is not landing, check in and ask what he likes, and do not take his answer as a critique. As Niki says, “he's been jerkin' it most of his life, he may have some suggestions.” And if you want to try something new, like exploring further south, ask first. Consent keeps it sexy, not awkward.
6. Keep it fresh
Especially with a long-term partner, variety is everything. Switch up your speed, slow and worshipful one time, fast and hungry the next. Use your hands as an extension of your mouth, bring in lube, play with your breath, explore new erogenous zones with his consent, even bring in a toy. Not every experiment will be a winner, and that is exactly how you find the ones that are. And above all, remember how hot you are.
7. Have a cum plan
Where do you want it to end up? Block out every adult film you have ever seen and think about what would actually feel good to you. You never have to swallow if you do not want to, and there is no wrong answer here, only your preference. The trick is to sort it out before things peak. In Niki's words, it helps to “put a cum plan into place earlier in the game, to ensure everyone is on the same page and the cum has a good stable home.” You can make it sexy, too, by telling him exactly what you want as the moment builds.
A little extra help for going the distance.
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The one rule under all seven
Show up wanting to be there, stay present, and communicate. Do that and the technique takes care of itself. Want to keep leveling up? Learn how to deep throat without gagging, or have some fun with the grapefruit blow job.
About the expert
The expert advice quoted in this guide comes directly from Niki Davis. In her words: “Niki is a full time sexuality educator, writer and private sex coach. The focus of her Masters in psychology was sexuality and she has lectured at NYU, The United Nations and many other venues on the subjects of sexual communication, sexual assault intervention and support, and human sexuality.”
Find her at nikidavisf.com and on Instagram @missbloomsexeducator.