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Rules of a threesome

Posted on 25 May 2017

The threesome, the Holy Grail of sexual experiences. We all know that guy or gal who’s done it, the stories are frankly, awesome. You might be one of them! The threesome is loads of fun, but there are some items to ponder beforehand to make sure this event goes off in the right way.

In this instance, I will be referring to the 1 guy/2-gal threesome. Let’s jump into it, shall we:  

Broaching the topic

This might be the toughest. Guy or gal, you better be relatively sure that if you bring up the idea with your significant other, they will consider it. Like those youtube videos of dudes proposing at basketball games with the mascot, and the girl either not saying “yes” outright, or worse, running off the court. These are things you want to avoid. Prior to popping the threesome question, I suggest playing around with the topic weeks or months ahead of time. Pick some moments when you’re both out and have had a couple drinks to joke around with it a bit. You will see quickly based on his/her reaction if this project is going to get off the ground or not.

No friends

Assuming you get a lukewarm to warm feeling on the whole deal, the next step is picking that third wheel. Take giant, porn-size cock and load notes here – NO FRIENDS! Do not pick a friend, please, no matter how enticing. This is where everything could easily derail and leave you both out in the cold. If it’s the guy picking, he will more than likely pick the friend he would fuck if you weren’t around. 

And if you’re the gal picking, you’re not picking that skank Judy who is constantly flirting with your man and you know would suck his dick if you turned your back for a split second. Friends in threesomes are a perfect way to end a friendship forever. Steer clear.

But yes, to an acquaintance

We’re not going the opposite of a friend, which would be some stranger off the street. What I suggest is the acquaintance. A friend of a friend is the best route, or even someone you casually run into every 4 months or so. Here is where you don’t run the risk of ruining a relationship, but you’re relatively sure the person you select won’t extract your kidneys or drain your cat’s blood afterward. The acquaintance is the way to go with the threesome, and half the fun will be reviewing this list together with your mate.

The big day

Once the acquaintance has been approached, and assuming you weren’t slapped across the face or told that the person would rather eat their own vomit than see you nude, you’re well positioned to get this moving. Everyone knows that nerves will be high. As such, I highly suggest keeping this fun and informal. You’re going to need some adult novelties, creams are always nice, perhaps a dildo or two, save the strap-on for a further date, but do grab some lingerie. In fact, that should have come first. Make sure all parties have something nice and sexy. I’m a huge proponent of the bodysuit for you gals, this will heat the evening up right.

Here is where I tell you not to be selfish, spend equal time on all parties involved, etc. But that should be a given, do what comes naturally, but know there is now another person in the mix and do your best to make sure she/he is comfortable.

The minute after

Ok, you’ve all exploded, or least attempted to. This might be the most important tidbit to take note of. The invited guest, under no circumstances, should spend the night. That person needs to crawl back to the dirty hole they came from (I kid), but they need to go home. This get-together, should it occur again, needs to be just that, a get-together. No going out for coffee the next day, dinner, what have you. The healthy way to manage this is you get together to all fuck every now and again. Period. 

Keeping this as the rule will give you a shot at a hot threesome when you need/want it while maintaining the integrity of the relationship. And lastly, there is a common fear, especially in the scenario of 1 guy with 2 girls, that the guy will end up falling in love and/or simply leaving to be with the new partner. This in my experience is highly unlikely. Most dudes who engage in threesomes with the happy consent of their partner honestly end up appreciating their mate even more. This is a big “trust” step, and us guys recognize that. Don’t let this take away from an otherwise super-gratifying experience. Nobody is going anywhere, except the kitchen for a couple hot-pockets and a Tab. Happy “acquaintance hunting!”

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