A man's guide to dirty talk
While most of my posts are from a special, inner place, I’m going to let it all hang out here – and that does mean to my knees ladies (God that would be special, and painful I suppose for that unlucky someone). I, like probably many of you, have been in relationships where either due to distance or curiosity alone, sexting, dirty talk over the phone, you name it, was in play, and in a major way. I should preface this though - the idea never emanated from me. From what I can remember, it was always my significant other suggesting, “why don’t we play a bit, tell me something sexy, pretend you’re an ophthalmologist and shoot a load in my contacts.” That was kinky, I must admit, and disturbing to some extent, but she was into medical role play and who am I to judge.
But most dudes will not talk dirty or sext, etc on their own. They need to be coaxed into the deal, and that’s where the lady typically comes into play. I say this because while a bit reticent at first, sexting and dirty talk has the potential to bring the relationship to a whole new level. And this doesn’t necessarily relate only to those situations when you are apart. Living in the same city, seeing your significant other every 3 to 5 days, the time in between is a gold mine for some naughty back-and-forth, and who doesn’t enjoy a little of that?
Nowadays it starts here. I know so many couples that send raunchy shit to each other on the daily, and more than anything it cracks them up. But it can also get really hot. My first suggestion, start with a pic. A shameless plug, but the gear on this site is as hot as it gets, and the Whisper Sweet Nothings Cropped Cami Bralette, ladies, one pic of this on you to us will jumpstart the back-and-forth you’re looking for quite efficiently.
Next, it doesn’t need to be some drawn out affair, a simple, “thinking of you,” or “can’t wait til Friday” is enough. He’ll respond, trust me, and then you can slowly devolve into semen-tossing and the like.
Ok, here is where it gets a bit more complicated. Getting back to my initial point, we’re not overly creative (us men) when it comes to dirty talk either over the phone or in-person. Not sure why but it usually feels corny, and we’re physical, in general. Seeing and touching is what typically turns us on the most so “talking” about how we’re going to lick your pussy usually falls in the “unnecessary” category. We’ll just do it at that moment or once we see you – done and done.
We know this isn’t what you’re after which is good news for you. We’re open to dirty talk but need some help getting there. The best way to jumpstart this is initiate with a “I was thinking back to when …” statement.
“Brad, I was thinking this morning back to last Thursday. Remember how hot last Thursday was? You went down on me and I swear I was going to faint, your tongue is a fucking wizard in disguise. I can’t wait til this weekend, I’m going to show you how much I appreciated that.”
You have our full, undivided attention at this point. Like, we could be in the middle of an important sales presentation, at our uncle’s funeral, reviewing the last safety procedures before launching to outer space, and we’d need to step aside and respond …
“Oh my God, it was super hot, I loved it. You make me so horny, I fucking love you.”
See where this going? The response is infantile and raw, and that’s us at our core. Here is where you need to coax the gold out of the mine …
“It’s only Wednesday, I can’t wait to see you, Brad, I need to hear what you’re going to do to me. Start with taking my shirt off, please …”
This throws the ball squarely into our court. Warning, don’t expect some overly eloquent response. It will probably be brutish once again, but once you get him going you can take it back-and-forth with answers like, “I love when you lick me, did you like licking me,” or “your cock barely fits in my mouth, how you going to jam it in again.”
I am not 100 percent positive my various significant others read posts like this prior to engaging me, but this tactic was utilized and it worked wonders on me. I became much more confident and less afraid to express myself both over the phone and on messenger, and if we know you’re not going to turn around and tell your friends how lame we sound, we’ll stay engaged.